RIP FAT LIFE

This week, I've had all the feels and none of the time. I've been busy meeting my bariatric dietitian, running paper's to my bariatric surgeons office, and living my normal life. The pace of everything is very exciting, but I don't feel like I've had much time to mourn my fat life. 

P4L...pizza for life! 

While meeting with my bariatric dietitian, we went over some of the pre-op and post-op diet plans I'd be adhering to...starting NOW! I sank in my chair as she said that I should try to start getting accustomed to the bariatric diet. I mean, I'm ready. I'm really ready for the lifestyle change and all the hard work that comes with this surgery...but...pizza. 

The restrictiveness of the diet doesn't last forever. I will be able to eat more variety and larger portions than the teaspoons of food in the weeks immediately after the surgery. But, for some WLS patients, carbs and sweets become problematic for the rest. of. their. life. 

Carbs and sweets are two of the only three food groups I believe in! Carbs, sweets, meats. That's it, right? But seriously, this past week, I've been trying to wrap my mind around eating as a source of nutrition, not as a source of entertainment, boredom, or comfort. 

I feel you Winston! 

For a brief moment, I wanted to gather my surgeon and my dietitian in the same room and Mercutio the hell out of them. 

Come through, Mercutio! 

But I decided that I can't just go Shakespeare-ing folks every time I'm upset. Especially about food!

It's FOOD! For years, I'm not sure how many, I have eaten when I was happy. I've eaten when I was sad. I've eaten when I was lonely. I've eaten when I was bored. Eating was never purely a source of nutrition. Ice cream cooled me down after a heated argument with a friend. French fries gave me the extra insulation I need to survive sub-zero Chicago winters. Pizza has always been a great, yet artery-clogging partner. 

Dear Pizza

I don't think I will ever not care about you, but I have to re-evaluate our relationship. I don't want to break up with you; but we have to take some time apart. This relationship is not healthy for either of us...but mostly me...and that's who I care about more. I'll miss the way you glide across my lips. I'll miss how you're always so good to me. I could have you in the morning, have you in the evening, have you at supper time. When you were on a bagel, I could have you anytime! 

We shared so many memories: Showbiz...where I was able to be a kid, a connection to Ninja Turtles, Imo's after going to football games in high school, and constantly telling people that you are disgusting when you move to Chicago and decide to wear your underwear on top of your clothes! Cheese always goes on top! Let's just remember the good times.

Ciao,  

Niki

Header photo courtesy of Campus France 

Any. Time.