DIGGING DEEPER - 66 WEEKS POST OP

I haven't posted in awhile. I apologize. I've just been out...LIVING MY LIFE! But, seriously though, I've been getting back into the swing of fitness and weight loss, as well as trying to build the life I want to live. That eats up some time. In constructing this world, particularly in the newly founded #TrumpsAmerica, I'm beginning to understand that for many years, I walked around with the weight of the world on me. Literally and figurately. But, the time has come for some serious self work. 

Quick backstory: Boy meets Girl. Boy is awesome. Girl goes batshit crazy. Repeatedly. Girl asks Friend: Why do I go crazy when I meet someone awesome? Friend breaks down some REAL T. Girl: You right! 

Part of this whole weight loss journey (for me) is figuring out what unhealthy habits led to my building a protective wall (of fat) around me. Besides that bad food is delicious, part of my problem has been emotional eating. Breaking down my emotions in a constructive way is not my area of expertise. Drinking my emotions, smoking my emotions, flirting away my emotions, shopping through my emotions, etc. has been a way of life for YEARS. And...they all feel good...momentarily. 

Dealing with problems...clearly. 

However, at some point, I realize that I'm going to have actually face my problems, leaving the door open to a host of insecurities and vulnerability. But, all good things are worth working for, right? I'm at a very good place with my health and my body. I'm not limiting myself to only the healthiest of food, but allowing room for some of my vices balancing the garbage with the good stuff. I've realized the exercise makes my body feel better and helps with mental clarity, so I've recommitted to going to the gym regularly. I'm saving for my travels abroad, which helps me to budget and avoid unnecessary spending. These are all great things. Now, I've decided that it's time to work on my emotional health. Yes, I see a therapist. But, he can only help so much if I'm not proactive about working through emotional hardships. 

Growing up as in overweight person, it was really easy to bury the emotional issues I had under the food on my plate. But, I literally cannot do it anymore. So, it's time to unearth and unpack the buried baggage. This isn't something I'm taking lightly. I know it's going to be hard. But, it is necessary and I'm happy to have a friend to call me on my bullshit...and who has pillowy boobs for me to rest on when I can't handle my bullshit alone. 

We need a more recent photo!